My mood dropped as I observed my morning drills. With fear and unhappy mood, I put on my clothes and awaits Chidinma. It’s almost 10am and she’s still not around. It’s unlike her. I picked up my phone but the fear in me couldn’t allow me to call her.
I tried relaxing myself but my mind kept thinking unimaginable things. What if she calls me and told me that she’s not coaching me again? What if she tells kikelomo about everything and kikelomo tells Bidemi (I’m finished)? I was seriously lost in thought when I heard a knock on the door.
My heart nearly popped out when the door was swung open and it was Chidinma. I felt like crying when I saw her. My lovely and lively Chidinma is now a timid and church girl like. She wore a big long skirt and she didn’t not even apply makeup.
I looked at her and I knew that I’m in for a very long day. It seems she cried herself all through the night. All her eyes were swollen and she tried to avoid eye contact with me.
Me: (forcing a smile) good morning ma
Chidinma: Good morning
Me: hope you have forgiven me?
Chidinma: (kept quiet)
Me: I guess that means no… I said I’m sorry Chidinma. It won’t happen again.
Chidinma: (sobbing and still quite)
I held her by her hand and have her seated with me; very close in a position where we can stare into each others eyes. She looks down as I continued to talk to her.
Me: I hope I dint misinterpret myself yesterday. I’m just a teenager trying get along with all facets of life.
Chidinma: (forcing a smile) You are Femi, every ladies man. I don’t think you misinterpreted yourself. You are always in control…
Me: (smiling) about what happened yesterday. I am…. (cuts me off)
Chidinma: (looking into my eyes) I love you.
Me: (shocked and keeps quite)
Chidinma: I love you Femi, I know that it’s not what I’m being employed for but I do love you. After what happened yesterday, I realised that I do and I have tried to puts the thought aside but I just can’t.
Me: (still kept quiet)
Chidinma: (looking confused) say something, anything.
Me: (confused and still muted)
Chidinma: (fear on her face) please move away from my side.
Me: (stayed and muted)
Chidinma: If you don’t leave, I will leave.
She was about to stand up but I held her back by her hand.
Me: (takes a deep breath) I… I like you.
Chidinma: (tears rolling down her eyes)
Me: I really do like you. You are like a sister to me and I have nothing more to give; I’m sorry.
Chidinma: (wiping tears off her face) you just gave me a broken heart.
I don’t want to add another Bidemi into my already congested love life. I moved away from her side. Looked at her from afar as she wallowed in self pity. I felt for her but as I have rightly told her “I have nothing more to give”. My bitter experience with Bidemi and Ruka has made me more careful about dating someone very close to my house.
It’s not as if Chidinma stays around but she knows much about me and spends more time with me than any other person. I don’t want to be monitored like Bidemi and cautious whenever I want to receive a call. I just have to hold on to my stand. We kept quiet and kept stealing glances at each other.
Me: (smiling) I’m really sorry Chidinma for putting you through all these. I really like your courage, because some girls wouldn’t have come out as you did.
Chidinma: (tears flowing freely)
Me: (confused state) please stop crying. I don’t want either of us to get hurt because I’m already in complicated relationships and besides that you deserve someone that’s much better than me.
Chidinma: it’s because of Bidemi right?
Me: not only her… my love life is more complicated than Bidemi and I. I just don’t want either of us to get hurt.
Chidinma: (wiping her tears) I can’t be more hurt than I already am… it’s already bad asking a guy for a date; please don’t make it worse by turning me down. I won’t complain about anything. Please Femi, I love you. I beg of you.
Her words touched me and got me more confused.
To Be Continued…
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